67 percent
by VexenIV
Summary: Axel and Roxas are up to their tricks, Saix is Demyx's puppy, Xemnas has a chair that tries to eat him and Zexion is possibly the only SANE member in the organization. Lets just say things are COMPELETE CHAOS! Slight VekuMaru, VexenMarluxia


**(A/N) OK! BEFORE you start wondering WHAT the hell I'm on, I'm just going to say that it was possibly the funniest story I have written yet.**

**XD**

**My weirdest one would have to be Reno Pays a Visit which is a mixture between Harry Potter, FF7 and KH2. ;**

**Never put me, boredom and a computer together. XD; My brain comes up with the WEIRDEST ideas. **

**Hope you likey peoples and don't be afraid to review.**

**3**

"XEMNAS LOOK OUT!!!" Demyx's cry rang through the halls, Xemnas turned just in time to avoid being knocked over by Saix who was chasing a ball that had bells in it. "Number IX, what have I told you about treating number VII as a puppy?"  
"But he likes it!" Protested Demyx, a cute pout on his face  
"He most certainly does NOT like it-" Xemnas started but just then Saix ran back to Demyx on all fours and the ball in his mouth, dropped it at his feet and ran around in circles like a playful puppy. "Play, play, play, play, play, play" Saix chanted and Demyx giggled and threw the ball for him again, Saix scampered off on all fours to find the ball. Xemnas sighed, "Number IX, you are excused. Both of you get out of my sight and go bother someone else."  
"Ok! Come on puppy, come on, let's go find Xiggy and see if he'll play with us." Demyx called to Saix and they ran down the hallway and around the corner.

Xemnas sighed and began walking down the white corridor to his office. He needed to sort this out, maybe he'd go ask Vexen for some advice if he wasn't too busy. Xemnas continued walking deep in thought when Axel and Roxas popped out from around the corner and crashed into him at a run, knocking them all to the floor. "Eep! Xemnas!" Axel squeaked, jumped up and quickly grabbed Roxas from on top of Xemnas. "You ok Mansex?" Axel looked down at the dazed superior and offered a hand to him. Xemnas took it and Axel pulled him upright. "Well, um, we'll just be going now, bye." Axel stuttered a bit and they both ran off laughing.

Xemnas shook his head; things really were getting out of control. 'Hang on' thought Xemnas. 'The only room along this corridor is my office. What were they doing in my office?' He continued to creep down the corridor and reached the door. He opened it slowly with a loud CREAK and stepped through wearily into the seemingly not different room. Everything looked the same. His files were still on the shelf; his desk was still in order with everything in it. The pencil tins weren't touched and the chair appeared to be in-tack still. Everything seemed normal enough and things went well, until he sat down on the chair and it threw him off the seat.

Stunned and swearing under his breath, Xemnas stood up and attempted to gather his dignity back together by glaring at the chair and walked back over to it. Nothing seemed out of order by just looking at it. Xemnas nudged it slightly with his foot and pulled it back quickly as if expecting it to bite him. After he did this a few times he thought it would be safer to get a bit closer and poke it with something harder than his boot.

After looking around the room he found a 1 meter wooden ruler and poked the edges of the seat sharply. It didn't respond at all. "What are you doing superior?" an amused voice came from the doorway. Xemnas quickly swung around to face it. Xaldin was standing there leaning against doorframe and barely hiding a smirk. "Number III, when did you get here?!"  
"Um…let's see, you had just finished prodding the seat with your foot and went to find the ruler…"  
"Oh…" Xemnas flushed red and turned away to hide it. "Won't you please come in?"  
Xaldin shrugged and walked through the door and sat down in a chair opposite the desk. "What do you want III?"  
"I just wanted to see what you wanted for dinner."  
"oh…" Xemnas walked around to the other side of his desk and completely forgetting about the chair sat down on it. "Well what abOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!" he yelled as the chair threw him off again and flew over the whirlwind lancer. He landed with a thump on the carpet in a very suggestible position. (XD;; I'm retarded…sorry. Lol)  
Shocked, he stayed in that position and stared at the only thing that he could see, which was the couch. There was barely contained laughing from the whirlwind lancer as he walked over to help his superior up. "You might need to get a new chair" he giggled. Xemnas glared at number III and straightened himself up. "So, what was it you wanted for dinner again? I don't think aboooowwwwwwwwwww is a dish."  
"Stop being smart III. Um…how about you just do spaghetti bolognaise for dinner and soup for before hand. Simple and easy."  
"Ok" Xaldin said before beginning to walk out of the office and stopping at the door. "Oh, one more thing superior."  
"What?" Xemnas asked in a tired voice.  
"You might want to think about a different colour for your boxers. I don't think pink with lipsticks suits you." He smirked and portaled away before his superior could kill him.

Xemnas just stared at him dumbstruck before slowly reaching behind him to feel the coat at the back, expecting to touch leather, he got a shock when he felt the silk like fabric under the glove. Rushing into the bedroom he turned around and stared over his shoulder in horror at the bite sized hole on his rump that bit through the leather. Changing into a new coat and pants quickly he left the room and grabbed the ruler again, this time firmly prodding the very center of the seat. Nothing happened. Grabbing his now destroyed coat he tore a sleeve off and wrapped it around the end of the ruler. Warily approaching the chair again he prodded the center with the leather. He screamed and dropped the ruler when the chair grew teeth and bit the leather and wood off. Rushing from the office he portaled to the very opposite of the castle and crashed into a wall next to where Vexen and Marluxia were talking when he rushed out.

"S-Superior?" Vexen asked curiously as he studied his superiors face for a few seconds. "What happened?"  
"My-My Chair tried to EAT me!" Xemnas blurted out with his eyes wide like a young child that was terrified. They both looked at him concerned and Vexen put his wrist to the superiors' forehead. "Are you feeling alright?" Vexen asked concerned as he pulled his wrist away. "Of- Of course I'm not feeling alright! My chair tried to EAT me!!" he practically screamed back before running off down the hallway babbling and terrified with his hands in the air. The Chilly academic and the graceful assassin both exchanged looks of horror before chasing after their superior at full speed. Xemnas tore through the corridors, crashing into walls and doors before finally coming to the lounge where most of the organization sat when they had nothing better to do. Crashing through the door with Vexen and Marluxia hot on his heels they crashed into Lexaeus and all 4 of them crashed to the ground. Still babbling like a small child, Xemnas lay pinned underneath Marluxia and Vexen. Lexaeus just sat up and all of them went tumbling off and landed on the ground, Marluxia half pinning Vexen. Xemnas just jumped up and to everyone's surprise ran away screaming from every chair he saw.

"…What the hell happened to him?" Zexion asked after a few minutes of Xemnas running around the room away from chairs. "He said his chair tried to eat him…" Vexen responded, still pinned underneath the graceful assassin. It had never actually occurred to any of them to move and pin their superior down. "PUPPY, NO!!!" Demyx's voice came from outside the door just as a ball came bouncing through the open door and Saix leapt after it. Both the superior and Saix crashed to the ground with a thud. "Puppy! Come here!" Demyx called again as he ran through the door and saw the scene. "No! Saix Stay!" Zexion blurted out as Saix went to move. "But Zexy! Puppy is sitting on Xemnas!"  
"Yes and we want that"  
"Why? I can't play with puppy then?"  
"Not for the moment Demyx."  
"Aww…." Demyx pouted and showed off the best of his cute features. Zexion just turned away from him but Luxord stared greedily at him.

"Um…XI…?" Vexen said blushing now that things had calmed down and he realised the position they were in. "yes?"  
"Would you…mind getting off me please?" Marluxia grinned and leaned down so he was whispering in Vexen's ear. "Why? I quite like this position. Don't you?"  
"No!" Vexen hissed back. "Now get off me."  
Marluxia rolled his eyes. "Fine…" He got off Vexen regrettably and offered him a hand up. While that was happening, Zexion had managed to get Saix to continue pinning his superior down while he knocked him out with a wack to the side of the head with his book. "There. Now, Vexen what should we do with him?"  
"Tie him up sitting down" Vexen said confidently, now that the awkward moment had passed and he was distracted.  
"XI, could you make some rope like vines for us please so we can tie him up." Marluxia nodded and held out his hand. Some rope thick vines appeared in his hands and Zexion took it.

The cloaked schemer tied the superior up to the pole while Saix stood nearby growling at Luxord who was attempting to get closer to Demyx. "X, leave IX alone and come give me a hand." Zexion said calmly to Luxord without turning around. The gambler of fate sighed and walked over to Zexion. "What do you want?"  
"Just take these down to the lab and put them on the desk for me." Zexion replied, pulling some files out of nowhere. Luxord gave him a glare and left the room. "What were they?" Vexen asked curiously. "Just some reports I needed to finish. Now….Lexaeus, would you like to pick the superior up and we will go to the source of the terror, which I would believe….according to what he has told us, is his room." The silent hero walked over, picked Xemnas up and started walking out the door. Marluxia, Vexen and Zexion all followed.

They reached the superiors office and walked in. putting him in the bedroom lying down on the bed, they left and looked at the chair. It seemed normal enough. Zexion put a hand to his chin and began thinking. Vexen and Marluxia exchanged confused looks. It looked like the chair he normally used. "If only we had some video footage of what happened." Marluxia sighed. Zexion gave him a look that said 'good thought' and walked away from them and over to a corner of the office. The botanist and Scientist gave the illusionist a strange look. "What are you looking for?" Vexen asked as Zexion began moving some books and files from a bookcase. "this." He said, holding up a video camera that was still recording. The chilly academic raised an eyebrow. "How did you know that was there?"  
"I figured if it was Axel and Roxas that played the prank that they would most likely hide a video camera somewhere where you could see everything that was happening."  
"Good point." Marluxia said, slowly inching closer to the Chilly academic without him noticing. Stopping the camera, they walked back down to the lounge and hooked it up to the TV that was sitting in the corner and rarely got used. Pressing the play button on the camera, they sat on the couches that were surrounding it; little by little the rest of the Organization came and watched with them.

20 minutes later the entire organization was laughing so hard that most of them fell over or fell off the couch. "Dude! What the HELL was with his chair?!" Xigbar yelled out, rolling on the floor. Just then Axel and Roxas walked into the room and saw the camera. "Hey! That's MY camera!" Axel yelled out and dashed forward to claim it. Luxord managed to stand up and clap him on the back before falling over in a laughing heap, breathing too hard for words. Axel, just looking confused, gave him a look that said 'dude…wtf?' and left the room with Roxas. "Ok." Zexion said after a few more minutes and had managed to get his breathing under control. "What are we going to do?" He looked expectantly at Marluxia and Vexen who were lying on each other and still laughing hard. Rolling his eyes he muttered "forget I ever said anything and left the room" for the library.

20 minutes later Marluxia left the lounge and headed up to his rooms and miniature garden. As he walked in the door he found Zexion sitting in front of his pot of rosemary and found in his lap he had some lavender and roses that were only new. "What do you think your DOING?!!" the botanist screamed at him and rushed forward. Zexion whirled around and quickly grabbed some rosemary before leaping out of the way and portaling away quickly. "ZEXION GET BACK HERE!!!" Marluxia screamed before running out of his room and stopping in the hallway outside. 'What the hell was he doing?' Marluxia thought to himself before sinking off into thought and walking away from his room absently.

Back in Xemnas's office, Vexen and Zexion were kneeling down in front of the chair and trying to make it eat the herbs. There was a book open beside Zexion and he was reading from it. "'A possessive spirit over inanimate objects. This spirit will not take over inanimate objects unless it is placed as a practical joke and will only attack and eat the material or fabric it is made of. To make this spirit go away or disappear get the object to eat Rosemary, lavender and rose petals in one go.'"  
"So…how do we get it to eat them?" Vexen asked, dangling a piece of rosemary over the chair and dropping it on the seat.  
"Simple." Zexion said before reaching around the table and pulling out a rather mauled coat. "This was from a previous member that used to be a wolverine. She attacked herself nightly and not realise it till morning. Eventually died from blood loss…"  
"Oh…" Zexion began tearing up bits of the coat and hiding bits and pieces of the Rosemary, lavender and rose petals in the rag and folding them up. Holding it over the seat they dropped it and moved back quickly. As soon as the leather touched the center of the seat, it swallowed it whole. Waiting expectantly for something to happen, they stared at it for a while with wide eyes. Realising that nothing was going to happen after about 5 minutes they moved forward into a seating position frowned as though they were trying to decipher a tricky maths question that they didn't quite understand. "I don't understand." Zexion began. "It should have worked."  
"I agree. From what we've read it should ha-" Vexen was cut off as a loud bang sounded from the center of the chair as it suddenly exploded outwards and they both threw themselves to the floor screaming. A green slimy thing leapt out of the top before disappearing into thin air. Shaking and pale, they both stood up and dusted the debris off their coats before Zexion gathered up the book and Vexen investigated the chair that now had its center blown to bits. "What…what just…happened?" came a voice from the doorway. Vexen turned around to find Marluxia standing in the doorway and breathing hard. "N-nothing Marluxia...nothing…" the chilly academic said looking down. Zexion looked between the two of them and decided to leave the room. "I'll just be putting the book back and finding the superior a new chair" he said as he left the room. Marluxia walked into the office when the cloaked schemer had walked past and shut the door. Walking over to the scientist, he wrapped his arms around him and buried his face into the crook of his neck. "You scared me…" he mumbled and hugged Vexen tighter. "You scared me. I heard the bang and ran all the way here from the second floor on the other side of the castle." He heard a chuckle from the chilly academic and pulled away to find the blonde haired man looking at him like he was crazy. "What?"  
"You never thought to portal here…did you…" Vexen said with a smirk. "n-no…" The botanist said with a surprised look on his face. "I could have done that…" he whispered to himself and leaned in to kiss his superior on the cheek. Looking surprised, Vexen moved back slightly and looked at him with a slight look of shock on his face while holding a hand to his cheek like it had been burned. Looking offended, Marluxia turned away to hide the tears in his eyes. "You didn't like it?" he asked quietly. "N-n-no. Marluxia, no I enjoyed it." Vexen said while reaching a hand around to grip his shoulder. "I want to have you kiss me again…" He said quietly. "What!" Marluxia said spinning around too quickly and accidentally pulling the scientist against him and the two of them stumbling back a bit. Looking down at the smaller blonde against him, he found one of his arms wrapped around the blonde's waist while one of his arms was wrapped around his neck and the other arm resting against his chest. "…You ok?" The pink haired man asked the smaller blonde after a few minutes when he didn't move. A mumble from him made Marluxia use his free hand to tilt the blonde's chin up before kissing him. Pulling back a couple of minutes later, Marluxia wrapped his free hand around the chilly academics waist before leaning back against the wall. Vexen looked up at him and smirked. "What?" Marluxia asked him before being pushed up against the wall and having his lips covered again to silence him.

Back in the library, Zexion was sitting at a desk with a piece of paper and a calculator. Writing down all the things the organization did and didn't do correctly and what they were supposed to do, he came up with 200 things all together. Sighing and looking at the calculations on the calculator, he decided he would have to speak to the superior about their behaviour and obligations when he was over his trauma. After simple calculations he had come to the conclusion that their organization was 67 dysfunctional.


End file.
